Laguiole en Aubrac- Golden Gate Bridge Red Enamel

A notable departure from the dreary, oddly branded corkscrews of the past. Where once, in my day, a shoe and a scarf were enough to open a wine with which to titillate my guests, now nothing short of a gold plated platinum Durand will do.

With a piece from a legendary bridge, whose wine associations are documented almost as much as its penchant for being near fog, I've been able to reach new professional heights.

When waved over a decanter like a wand, I was able to instantly suck all sulphites out of a wine, which brought praise from my guests who KNOW that it is sulphites that give them headaches.

During a staff tasting I raised it over my head with its power I telepathically communicated the difference between Merlot and Pinot Noir.

Finally, by invoking the name of the Gates Golden, I successfully resurrected a guests who'd choked on one of the five olives in his Vesper Martini.

Cut my hand on the knife though. A small bridge began to grow where the drop landed though, so, a win-win.